I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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