Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
