the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
