I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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