omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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