I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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