Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
