I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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