Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
