My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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