I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
