UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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