Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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