I haven't been this sober since birth.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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