If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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