Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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