hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize