Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
