dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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