I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
