Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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