Soap is not a condiment
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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