Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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