I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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