What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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