know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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