D3 body, D1 cock
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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