I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
