he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He? As in you personified your dick?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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