Grow some girl-balls and come out already
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
