So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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