We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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