guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
