Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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