fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
