i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
