dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
