never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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