just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
