Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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