just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
