i jhust puked up my retainher.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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