i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
