and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize