Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
