Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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