we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
