he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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