i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
