I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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