Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
