somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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