after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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