Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize