If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
