Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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