Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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