hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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