she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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