You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize