We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
