If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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