Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize