porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize