Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
