Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
