Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
